Your Curated Chicago Weekend: 1/21-1/24

We'll start off with a song of the day: "The Way" by Fastball. You might have heard that in the far-off suburb of Wood Dale, just beyond the nether regions of O'Hare, an old couple went missing on Tuesday. Donald and Jannette Warren, both of whom suffer from dementia, were last seen at a doctor's office before apparently driving aimlessly around Chicagoland for the next 36 hours. They were finally corralled in Deerfield last night. This would be hilarious if it weren't so damn scary that 1) the Warrens literally had no idea what they were doing and 2) they probably posed a massive danger to both themselves and anyone else on the roads. That's the problem with dementia: you want to laugh when your great-grandma spends the entirety of every single lunch you spend with her asking who's celebrating a birthday (true story, and I did laugh, but never to her face). But underneath the shallow veneer of a cheap laugh is the saddest thing of all: the slow loss of human consciousness. And it can be deadly at times. But now that the Warrens are safe, maybe a little nervous laughter is okay, as long as we take dementia itself seriously. So I present alt-rock paragon Fastball's account of what happened in Wood Dale and on the surrounding highways. Just tack on a happy ending in your head and you're set: Anyways, on to the Curated Chicago Weekend! Here's what the perfect way to spend your next four nights looks like.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 21
Too $hort + Martin $ky @ Double Door, 1572 N. Milwaukee Ave., 8:30 pm
Image courtesy chicagoeater.com. Image courtesy chicagoeater.com. WHAT: With 16 studio albums tucked under his belt, California-based rapper Too $hort never came up short when serving us tales from “The Ghetto” or lines from the ultimate players’ handbook. Last year, the 49-year-old celebrated his 30 years in the game, and the man just cannot stop rappin’. The dawn of 2016 is upon us, and Fake Shore Drive and Red Bull Sound Select has teamed up to bring us Too $hort, along with Martin $ky and Smino, at Double Door.
SO WHAT: Life is Too $hort to miss this. (ayooooooooo)
NOW WHAT: It’s only $3 if you RSVP real quick at redbullsoundselect.com.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 22
Seeds of Disunion: Classics in Black Stereotypy Film Series screening of King Kong @ Black Cinema House, 7200 S. Kimbark Ave., 7:00 pm
WHAT: Profs. Jacqueline Stewart (UChicago) and Miriam Petty (Northwestern) are showing the original 1933 version of King Kong and, afterwards, will lead a discussion on the ways the film reflects disturbing racial beliefs of the time. SO WHAT: You’ll never look at King Kong the same way again. Even if you disagree with the viewpoints presented, you’ll have the opportunity for an open discussion and certainly learn something, and isn’t that the definition of a successful evening? Plus, discovering black viewpoints shouldn’t just be confined to February. NOW WHAT: This is free. Go see a movie. For free. SATURDAY, JANUARY 23 Tortoise in the Round w/Hydrofoil @ Thalia Hall, 1807 S. Allport St., 6:30 pm
WHAT: Local post-rock legends Tortoise perform in the round at Thalia Hall.
SO WHAT: Thalia Hall’s In The Round series has been a great way to completely immerse yourself into a band’s music. It places the musicians right in the middle of the venue with the adoring crowd surrounding them. Tortoise’s fusion of countless genres into a post-rock haze seems ideal for the concept.
NOW WHAT: Second show is sold out but the Saturday 17+ show is still available and tickets are $20.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 24
Protomartyr @ Lincoln Hall, 2424 N. Lincoln Ave., 8:00 pm
WHAT: Detroit-based post-punk quartet Protomartyr comes to the LH in support of their third studio album, The Agent Intellect.
SO WHAT: I’m honestly surprised this isn’t sold out yet, because Protomartyr had a great year with the critics, who agreed that The Agent Intellect is an outstanding rock album. Frontman Joe Casey’s got a delightfully deadpan voice, and the heart-pumping riffs that back him up sound at once raw and polished. NOW WHAT: Get your tickets for $15 here.
And if you made it to the bottom of this email, congratulations! You get a reminder that tickets for CHVRCHES' March 13th show at the Riviera go on sale on Friday at 11:00 am! Off the top of my head, this is their fifth show in the city over the past year, which means they both love Chicago and signed really non-restrictive contracts allowing them to come back so often. -Blumy   Double Door image courtesy chicagoeater.com
Zach Blumenfeld

Zach graduated from Vanderbilt University in 2015 and, seeking to put off law school, began writing about music and pop culture. Now he's hooked on concert reviews and the Chicago music scene and thinks he could be doing this for a while. Follow his random thoughts on Twitter @zachblumy