I Want Nothing (no quid pro quo) Is the Anthem We Needed

Despite claims from administration loyalists that Congressional impeachment hearings are either “too boring” or “too complicated” for mere peasants to understand, much of America has been glued to the saga, which began last week. For five days, Congress has been exploring allegations that President Donald Trump improperly sought help from Ukraine to help him in the coming 2020 election. The evidence centers around a whistleblower complaint from an anonymous intelligence official expressing concerns over a call between Trump and Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky where Trump reportedly urged Zelensky to dig up dirt on former Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter. 

The historic proceedings have already produced plenty of memorable moments, and on Wednesday they helped to produce a perfect anthem to go with them.

As Trump addressed members of the press on the White House lawn after testimony from Ambassador Gordon Sondland, Getty photographer Mark Wilson snapped a photo of the President’s notes, written in black marker on a pad from Air Force One. The notes – written in all caps – look like something between a set list hastily written by a band ten minutes before showtime and song lyrics feverishly scribbled in a dimly lit hipster coffee shop. They scream:

“I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. TELL ZELLINSKY TO DO THE RIGHT THING. THIS IS THE FINAL WORD FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.”

The image instantly became a meme. But the notes don’t only look like song lyrics, they sound like them too. The internet obliged, and several musically inclined Twitter users turned another presidential rant bellowed loudly over the whir of helicopter blades into several songs.

Nick Lutsko, who has turned Trump rants into songs before, put together an emo rendition perfectly balancing Trump’s angst and presidential victimhood.

User Appa the Flying Bison turned them into a Morrisey song which made us sway a little and stare at our shoes. Given Moz has long embraced far right wing politics and has a history of making xenophobic remarks, we guess this would probably be Trump’s preferred rendition.

Our favorite (so far) though comes from Alex Kliment, who turned the president’s rant into a blistering Ramones song that there is a 100 percent chance we would circle mosh to if given the chance.

There’s definitely a few more we’d like to hear (it’s screaming for a Nirvana style rendition), but none more than a metal or hardcore version that’s one long breakdown.

https://twitter.com/modernistwitch/status/1197259604197085188

Aaron Cynic
Aaron Cynic