Five Covid-19 Related Songs You Can Mosh to at Home

Since the global COVID-19 pandemic began, musicians all over the world have been writing and performing songs related to the virus, social distancing, and staying the fuck home. While COVID-19 is no laughing matter and the news continues to grow grimmer by the day, it’s important to find some time to do what we can to keep our spirits up as we all try to weather the storm.  Big name musicians like Cardi B and Neil Diamond have released Coronavirus themed tracks, there are plenty of other pretty incredible pop tracks and remixes that have perked up our ears. Punks and metalheads are getting in on what’s become something of a micro-genre too. Thanks to our Twitter friends Killermartinis and Thrashtom, we got pulled down a rabbit hole of some fantastic, funny, and down right anthemic heavy jams and parodies inspired by the global pandemic. Here are five of our favorites.  Modern Life Is War at the Metro in 2019. Photo by Aaron Cynic. Coronavirus Hardcore Song - Lockdown HxC Lockdown HxC is a sideproject from London based grindcore band Raised by Owls, and they’ve created the perfect hardcore anthem mashed together from every song you ever heard in the mid 2000’s. A long intro builds into a slow circle mosh, which leads into a stage pile on part where everyone can scream “BUY ALL THE TOILET ROLL.” We get a fast circle mosh with lyrics about fighting the virus that finally crescendos into a beautiful breakdown about crowd-killing it. Post Apocalyptic Toiler Paper Love Song - Jason Stallworth  We’ve been dealing with a run on toilet paper for probably close to a month now. In some cases, the shortage has become bad enough to prompt restaurants and other businesses to offer free rolls with a certain amount of goods purchased. While the shortage might be a little bit related to hoarding and definitely due to changes in supply and distribution methods, YouTube metal tutorialist Jason Stallworth explores a third possibility - maybe toilet paper is leaving us. Post Apocalyptic Toilet Paper Love Song is a metal track reminiscent of darker sounding power ballads like Pantera’s Cemetery Gates or Iron Maiden’s The Thing Line Between Love and Hate. The Judgement Of Covid 19 METAL REMIX - WTFBrahh Sadly, there’s been no shortage of right wing televangelists and other grifters trying to cash in on the crisis, making all sorts of promises to their followers about cures, despite there being no evidence. Kenneth Copeland, America’s richest televangelist pastor, has told his followers the disease was a weak strain of the flu (it’s not), told them to continue tithing to his ministry even if they lost their jobs, and claimed he could heal people through their televisions. In a broadcast posted to YouTube on March 30th, Copeland said he had “executed judgement” on the disease. Shortly after, YouTube parody remix account WTFBrahh created a brutal death metal version of Copeland’s speech. Coronavirus But It’s METAL - Bradley Hall Plenty of metal songs about plagues, pandemics, and disease have been written over the past few decades. Dystopia after all, is a major theme all metalheads are familiar with. YouTube musician Bradley Hall took a few well-known cuts from bands like Pestilence, Slayer, Opeth, and Queensryche and threaded them all together seamlessly. Metallica - One (Coronavirus Quarantine Video Parody)  For those of us lucky enough to be able to self-isolate (remember, in addition to essential workers, not everyone has the ability or resources to do it) and who may not have spent this amount of time in our homes ever in our lives, the term “stir crazy” might not be enough to describe how some of us are feeling. YouTuber Christopher Riewaldt did something we wish came into our heads at any point in our 30+ day quarantine and completely recut the video for Metallica’s iconic song ‘One’ while self-isolating. Riewaldt uses current news footage to replace the footage Metallica used from the 1971 American anti-war drama Johnny Got His Gun, and fills in all of the musical parts with footage of him playing guitar and bass with mop handles and air drums in a recliner. And yes, the power chords are correct.
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Aaron Cynic